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Friday, September 14, 2007

It scares me.
Alot.
Why would you do sucha thing to yourself?
You weren't that type of a person.
To the extent of suicide.
You brought yourself as a person who would do anything just to live life to its fullest.
And now, it scares me.
If you, an outspoken social butterfly had to resort to this,whatever drove you to do it,
I wonder how many others out there who are even more helpless feel the same way you did
How many quiet ones surround me not knowing who to go to or turn to
Concluding that the best way is to leave Earth?
Pained, alot to see your mum say 'Wake up' continuously
Pained, alot to hear your dad tell us to offer you flowers
Cut me bad to see your once proud and courageous face quiet
Eye shut
Laying still
You weren't recognisable from where we saw you
You intended for this to occur?
You wouldnt,not the classmate we know
And now you scare us all so much
What a gathering it was for all!?
Instilled a fear in us, why may not leave for a long time now
People wailed and cried infront of you
And once said, "Time to go, go la', now isnt the time thou is it?
Why? Just why?
But I'll remember the times we shared.
The times we exchanged letters among (N,V,K,Juen)
And you still remained still as I watched you.
Never moving.
Such a terrible departure. Felt with pain, pain and more pain
Not you.
Its not you.

And a few more words, to those who may thought and attempted to go the extent of suicide.
There's always always always a solution to every problem.
I assure you on that.
I want to be there for all those who need me.
I'll always be.
Please don't hesitate to speak up to your friends/families if you're lost
Cause its a huge loss if you decide to just end it
ITS NOT SIMPLE!
ITS NEVER SIMPLE!!

This incident affected alot of us.
Seeing so many of us gathering to discuss and pour out our feelings.

Spoke to my sec4 form teacher earlier.
And she said this, "This is a learning experience for all, just make sure you guys don't do this, theres a solution for everything."
And I believe she is right.
I loved my Sec 4 class so much, I'd give anything to reverse time back then.

Juen came over earlier, after her night class, and it was just quiet for us.
We weren't doing our normal talking, just wondering silently.
Now and then, one of us would raise our view.
Its this feeling of being clogged with so many thoughts, I wish I could just remove them instantly.
Spoke to Jeronme, another one who's deeply affected.
Hey Jem, I assure you, no matter what we'll be tight yeah?
Juen and I will always be there.
Do take care.

And now, I pray again and again,for you to rest well.

:(

And to those selfish idiots who ignored this matter like as if it didn't matter, wow!
And to those idiots who could make fun of this matter, you're brave.

I always told myself, and to Juen, that people who attempted their own death, are not cowards but brave people.

To Sherry : Take care girl.Thanks for everything. I love you much. And we'll hang in there.
I wished it never happened.